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A Wonderful Short Video about 'Arranged Marriage' By Nars Krishnamachari

  

This is am attempt to List out some rituals/steps that Happen in a Typical Hebbar Iyengar Wedding.

Before the Actiual wedding

1. Niscitartha/Lagnapatrike or Engagement Ceremony

    This is an engagement ceremony involving the families of Bride and Groom and some close relatives and friends,
     where the Vadyar solumnizes  the engagement by Chanting some vedic hymns (Mantras). This usually takes
     place in the Grooms' Home or in a Hall. The traditional exchange of Vethale Pak along with clothes and ornaments
     takes place between the families. A formal one page document may be drawn up dictated to elders by the Vadyar
     fixing the date and muhurta for the wedding. This is then read by some elders. This is followed by a Dinner.

2. Chapra Ceremony
    

3. Devara Samardhane / Udaga Shanti

    This Pooja is done to ward of any obstacles and impediments to the Marriage ceremony. A ghosti of Vadyars (Priests)
    perform this if they are available. 5 Sumangalis (Usually close knit family members) are invited for this ceremony
    and their feets are washed and their blessings are obtained. A small gift along with vethale Pak maryade is accorded.

4. Welcoming the Groom's Families and Friends

    The Grooms Party arrive at the Marriage Hall in the afternoon or evening of the day before Wedding. They are
    Welcomed in a Traditional way by the Brides' family by Flower Garlands and are introduced formally to each others family.
    This also includes a grand and sumptous Tiffin and coffee. The would be son-in-law is duly accorded welcome and respect.

5. Varapuje (Prior Day of Wedding)

    The Groom is Ceremoniously led into the Mantapa and the Vadyar Chants some Vedic Hymns and begins Vara Pooje. He also
    reads the Lagnapatrike and announces the Wedding ceremony to be performed. There is exchange of Clothes and Jewellry
    between the Bride and Groom. This is a short ceremony followed by the "Warale Kal" (Grinding Stone) Ceremony in which
    5 Sumangalis participate and bless the Wedding Ceremonies. This is followed by a very good dinner.

6. Bidadi Mane 

    One room in the marriage hall is arranged with what all the bride will be bringing with her. This may include essential kitchen
    ware, silver lamps, idols, Saaligrama (if available), Silver Pooja wares, kitchen gadgets and any other electronic
    neccesity. It becomes very imaginative decoration by the Bride's folks.
   
During the Wedding

1. Naandi (Before Muhurta Time)

    This is the first of all Marriage ceremonies. The Bride will have Traditional 'Oil Bath' wear the New Saree given by her parents
    and Sit along with her Parents for the first time on the Mantapa Mane. A Traditional Aarthi is performed by 2 Sumangalis using
    a silver plate, little water in the plate with dissolved kumkum making the water Red, 2 Small Silver Lamps lighted with Ghee on the
    Cotton Wick. Sumanglis may sing a short song and the Parents may put some coins (of Value) in the silver plate.
    The Vadyar(Priest) will recite some mantras.

    Same ritual is performed for the Groom also on the Same Mantapa Mane.

2. Kashi Yathre (Before Muhurta Time)

    'Kashi' is the ancient center for taking 'Sanyasa', present day city of Varanasi (Benaras). In this ceremony the Groom is Dressed
    like 'Sudhama' (Poor Brahmana), with a Simple White Cotton Dhoti in Pancha Kachha Style with matching Anga Vastra, Carrying
    a Stick on his left shoulder at the end of which is tied a 'Potli' style grain bag, an umbrella and wearing Chappal/Flip Flops. This
    Mock Pilgrimage Trip is undertaken by the Groom to give up 'Samsara' and take on 'Sanyasa'. (Why Kashi and not 'Mukti Nath' in
    Nepal anyway for a Fake ceremony !! ) The Brides father then Prevails Upon the Groom to Return and Promises to give his daughter
    in Marriage to the Groom. The Vadyar does all the Chanting and the Volga (Vaalga) party keeps the accompanying Music on. In the
    meanwhile the Bride is getting Ready for the Sambandha Maale ceremony.

3. Sambandha Maale (During Muhurta Time)

    This ceremony is typically done Outside. A stool and a smaller raised Mane are kept outside for this purpose facing each other.
    The Groom Changes into a new Jari / Silk Pancha Kachha, Mysore Petha (Headgear) and is brought outside led by his Mama (Maternal Uncle)
    holding his hand and takes his place standing on the Raised Mane. A Jari Saree is used as separator. The Bride is led by her
    Mama (Maternal Uncle) holding her hand and she stands on the Small stool. (What if the Girl is Taller than the Groom ??).
    The Vadyar Chants Vedic Mantras and Starts the Garlands Exchange Ceremony after removing the Separator. First Garland is
    always put by the Bride. Groom puts the Second Garland. Mama's help in the exchange by removing the Garland and placing in
    the hands of Bride and groom. This is repeated 2 times more. Sambandha is thus made. After this all the relatives and friends
    present,shower akshate (Rice mixed with tumeric) on the couple.

    After this the Bride's father washes the Groom's feet and makes the Bride and Groom on a Jhoola / Swing that is also kept outside
    for this purpose. 2 Sumangalis do the traditional Aarthi with kumkum water singing a short song and drive away 'Dhrusti'. At that time
    the Bride's parents also wash the feet of any other existing daughters & son-in-laws and give some gifts (Usually Cash !! )

4. Kanya Daanam (During Muhurta Time)

    In this ceremony father Gives away the Bride. This takes place in the Mantapa. The Bride is led to the mantapa after the
    Sambandha Maale by her Mother-in-Law and the Groom by his mother-in-Law holding hands. Bride sits on her father's Lap. The
    Bride holds a Coconut covered with Turmeric on Betel Leaf (Vethale) and her father holds her arms. The Groom places his hands
    palms up (In Receiving Posture) below the Bride's hands. Bride's Mother pours water onto the Coconut slowly letting the water
    slide through the couple's fingers, while the Vadyar chants the vedic mantras and the Vaalga party plays a fast beat in the traditional way.

    This is done when the Vadyar is done with the mantras. Bride with her parents sit on the Mane. A 9 Yard Saree is presented to
    the Bride by the Groom's Parents. Bride retires to the Room for Changing the Saree and wear the newly presented 9 Yard Saree
    in Madisar Style. Cannot afford to waste any time here. The Groom can adjust his Kacche Panche !!

5. Mangalya Dharanam (During Muhurta Time)

    In this ceremony the Groom Ties the Mangalya (Taali) around the neck of the Bride using a Thread yellowed by Turmeric. The Mangalya
    is in the form shown in a sub web-page named Mangalya. The only difference would be the Namam depending whether it is
    Tenkalai or Vadagalai style. While the Bride is Changing into her Madisar saree, the Mangalya is taken by some elders alongwith
    coconut, betel leaves, paak, Akashte (Rice in Turmeric), flowers, kumkum. The relatives and guest bless the Mangalya and are also
    given the Akshate for blessing the couple after Taali Tieing.

    There is no Vedic Mantra to be Chanted here and the Vadyar just Chants a Short Mantra and the Groom Ties a Knot at the back of
    the Neck making it a small Garland. There are 2 more Knots tied by Groom's sisters/Cousins to support the Mangalya. The Groom also
    ties a Waist Belt using a 'Dharbe' helped by the Vadyar. All the onlookers shower the couple with Akshate as their Blessings.
    The Vaalga Party Plays on a High Note in a Traditional Style through out the process. Brides Mother distributes Vethale Pak to eat
    (Not Benaras Meetha Paan) to the close family of the Groom.
    This whole process is done quickly in as short a time as possible.

    The Coconut that was santified and used for holding the mangalya till worn by the Bride is used to make some sweet such as 'Kopri Mithai'

    or 'Kanamnd' the next day.

6. Saptha Padi (During Muhurta Time)

    A Homa is started in the Mantap and the Vadyar Chants Vedic Mantras Invoking 'Agni' Devta. Groom puts in the 'Kaal Ungru' on the
    ring toes of the Bride as a sign of Leading her and Protecting her. This done by placing Betel Leaf on the ground, and the Bride keeps
    her feet on the Leaf while standing. Groom kneels down and slips in the 'Kaal Ungru' (Toe Ring). Then his Anga Vastra is tied to the
    Pallu of Bride's Madisar and they together walk around the Homa Kunda taking seven steps (Sapta Padi) while chanting their Vows.
    Here Agni is the Sakshi (Witness) to the Vows, as recited by the Vadyar in Vedic Mantras.

    After the Vows are done, Bride's brother/Cousin sits along with the Bride and feeds the Homa the 'Aarlu' (Paddy PopCorn) and 'Neyi'
    (Ghee) to keep the flames going strong.

After the Wedding -- (After Muhurta Time)

1. Blessings of the Elders/Near & Dear/Close Relatives & Friends
   
    The newly wed couple sits on the mantapa mane and the Vadyar recites Aashirwada Matra while everybody presents Gifts and shower
    Blessings on the Newly wedded couple.

    After this the Couple goes around in the Gathering and Prostrate before all the Elders that they are told to and seek their Blessings.
    Then they come back and continue with any other Homa required for their Nakshatras.

2. Marriage Lunch

    Everybody is invited to the Lunch and parting Vethale Pak / Goody Bag.
    Groon and Bride Sit together for the Lunch accompanied by their parents and close family members.

3. Gruha Pravesha

    After some rest the Bride is welcomed into the Grooms home. She Changes into a new Saree given by her In-Laws and enter the Room
    by Kicking a Seer of Rice on the Traditional Seer filled, kept on the Pedestal of the Room/Home, with her Right Leg. An Aarthi using
    a silver plate, kumkum water is done at this time for the bride.

4. Reception (Optional)   

    This is done in the evening for folks and a classical music party provides entertainment for the musically inclined. Some people have
    a Dance or a band.

5. Grand Lunch with Pooja for the In-Laws Families (Optional)

    Some do 'Satya narayan' pooja and yet some others do 'Sudarshana Homa'. Generally SriVaishnavas do Sudarshana Homa' and invite
    all the In-Laws and their relatives and also their own close knit relatives. The Lunch is a grand one and a parting feast.

    Parting feast for the wedding but it is the begining of many such events


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